Enlightened Engagement

Forgiveness We see lots of stories about forgiveness and how people who are damaged severely can forgive the abuser. These are stories of hope and life. Forgiveness only begins when you can come to terms with the fact that we are all human and we all make poor choices in our lives. People that make very poor choices can damage themselves and others to a significant degree and forgiveness of their behavior is often difficult to achieve when considering your own fragile human psyche, but it can be done. Often times forgiveness is a life long goal. I have been struggling with forgiveness for my father. I have not seen him in 20 years and he has been dead for 5 so I need to work on forgiving him in abstentia. I have been living all of my life through his eyes even when he wasn't in it. I think we all do that. So that means forgiving myself for acting and behaving as if he was controlling me and making me behave in certain ways that I am not proud of. Of course he is not controlling ...

Now A constant struggle I have is being able to be in the present. Living life in the present is the most important skill to be able to love yourself and others. When you can enjoy the moment you are in you don't worry about the future or lament mistakes from the past you just enjoy what is around you. The cold of the snow, the warmth of the beach, the green of the trees, the roughness of bark, or the brightness of the sun are but a few of the wonders you can embrace when you are in the NOW. A large part of happiness is just being. Being the trees, the pets your own, and the building going on in the park are all magnificent aspects of life that we often overlook because we are thinking about how hot it is, how windy it is (and I don't like wind) or how much my electric bill is. When you can be the grass, the roar of the ocean, or the smell of garbage then you are creating a snapshot of life that can be nothing but magnificent for yourself.

Failure Failure is an inevitable aspect of life. Everyone fails. I fail daily and often. The difference between someone that is happy and successful is what they do with that failure. I often forget to do important things and fail to complete tasks. Although I do this I look at failure as an opportunity to learn and be better at failing less. Every day is another day to fail less. One great philosopher said that no real learning occurs without failure. Your important lessons are retained longer and are more deeply ingrained in your psyche when you fail. You don't learn much from success or winning. Obviously it is more fun to win and be successful, but failure teaches you more. I don't prefer to fail but I know I will because I am human and when I do I pick myself up and try again. I learn and do it differently next time. Sometimes it takes me many times but I never give up.

Love Love is the essence of life. Just like water and air are the essential ingredients to your physical existence love and understanding are the essential ingredients to your emotional survival. We see the effects of when love is absent in people's lives on the news every night. We see murder, mayhem, and crime committed by people who don't love themselves or anyone else. Love is required for you to find purpose and it is as important as every other emotion. If you give love then you get love. You can see that in the development of young children. There is nothing more precious or essential than the giving of love. When you give a young child the unconditional love they so desperately need then they grow up into functional and loving adults. If they are deprived of that needed love then the act out in ways that tend to be against society and our system. Love can be expressed in many ways bur the way that has the most impact upon the human personality is the act of contact a...

Smile I learned a very valuable lesson from a 1 year old yesterday. That lesson could be summed up in one word. Smile. When you smile one more time during the day or a second longer than necessary then you will find that happiness expands and increases. Smiling begets smiles. When you smile someone else smiles back whether it is someone you know or not. I found myself smiling because I saw someone else smile as I was walking along in the store. Smiles create smiles. Have you ever heard the saying, "Smile and the world smiles with you." Well it is true. Smiling creates happiness just like thinking rich creates an atmosphere where you can become rich. Even if it is a forced smile. Even if you are not really happy when you smile if you do it with intent then happiness ensues. Happiness is created with just one smile.

Growth Growth is inevitable in every organism including humans. Every seed sprouts into a plant. It may shrivel and die depending upon whether or not it received enough water and food, but it grows until it dies. We humans do the same thing and we are always growing. The complications in our growth lie in the amount of nurturing and love we receive. If we get lots of love and understanding we grow exponentially and become humans of excellence. If our seed lands on barren or dry ground we don't grow very well. As parents we are tasked to provide a great place to grow. When you give your kids, friends, acquaintances, and yourself love, understanding, forgiveness, tolerance, and limits then you provide them and you a place to grow. Your growth depends upon your love and understanding. Love is the key to growth.

Happiest Place on Earth Some people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth. To many happiness is the place where you can experience joy inherently and for many people that comes in the form of rides, great eats, time with family. and unique experiences. We have this stuff happen to us every day although most of our happy moments are spread out among many hours and days and often times seldom recognized. Well I just experienced happiness to a high level at the airport in the arrival section. As I was waiting for my ride I slowed my thinking and just enjoyed the people arriving and departing. As I was just being in the now, the smiles of the people getting picked up was infectious. When the people where  getting picked up their friends or family had such genuine smiles and joy that it infected me. To see such happiness from the reunion filled me with true happiness. I was reminded that I don't have to be part of that family reunion to experience the joy they were feel...

Listen Communication with others comes in many ways but is often just you opening yourself up to the messages that others send you through their words and actions. When you listen, process, and internalize the experiences of others, even if you disagree with them, you grow and learn how to navigate the world more effectively. In other words you become a better person when you listen. The universe conveys to you many messages that can lead you toward success and happiness if you just listen. In every single second, minute, and hour you are immersed in experiences that can teach you lessons to lead you to happiness. Happiness is a state of mind and when you see that we are all the same traveling a different path then the state of contentment is more prevalent if you just listen. We have a tendency to just talk so we can tell our story which is important but real satisfaction comes when you listen and understand someone else's story. Use all your senses to see, hear, feel, smell, ...

Do One Thing I often times am caught up in resting on my laurels. I have had an excellent life, influenced many people, raised great children, and changed the world, at least to a small degree. Subsequently I sometimes find myself unmotivated to pursue any significant goals. I find myself not being very active in things I considered important, at least I considered them important a few years ago. So consequently I find negative things to say about myself because I am not moving forward very effectively. That is a dilemma we all face whether we are in the beginning of our life or in the later stages of our existence. I have felt this way and laid back my desire to succeed in every phase of my life but it usually didn't last that long. What I have done to break the grip of complacency is start a campaign of doing one thing. In this case I am writing one blog a day. If you just do one thing toward a goal you feel is important then the desire to criticize yourself is reduced because...

Rest Even though most of us would like to rest more than we should, it is important to balance the desire to rest and be productive. I think that everyone is an individual and the desire to be ultra productive is an individual characteristic. Human nature leans us toward relaxing and resting. We work hard in our daily jobs, chores, family responsibilities, and behaviors but it is important to find time to rest and revive your spirit and body. Rest can come in many forms. Rest is normally thought of as sleep or just laying around listening to music or watching TV, but rest can be meditating, working out at the gym, or cooking a good meal. Whatever gives you a sense of satisfaction and enjoyment can be considered restful, especially if you find joy in the activity. Any type of rest will fill you with a renewed energy to attack all the things you need to do to feel accomplished. So take some time each day to pray, meditate, cook, stretch, sleep, play games, or whatever you consider re...

Serenity Taking things slow is super important in the scheme of life's adventures. Ever hear anyone say, "Time goes by fast, or They grow up so quickly," Of course you have. Everyone thinks and says these types of things. We do this because we want to slow down the process of all the great events of life. Seeing someone grow up and become a wonderful human being is an awesome experience. Viewing a beautiful sunset or sunrise is so awe inspiring that we want it to last longer but the sun rises or sets and the view is gone. We want to slow down time. All humans go through this process of thought. This is us instinctively wanting to stay in the NOW. If you can stay in the now you are able to reflect less upon your worries, you think less about what will happen in the future, and you spend less time thinking about all the negatives that may or may not occur as a result of the previous decisions you made before. When you can enjoy the NOW you find that peace and contentment...

Most have heard the saying, "Today is going to be the first day of the rest of your life." Most of us know that it means that you have to let the past go and live like it was your last day on earth. Enjoy the moment and live for today are said by many. These are platitudes are more easily said than done. Living in the moment takes a lot of focus and work. It takes a mega amount of concentration to live in the NOW when you are planning, writing, watching TV, cooking, or running. One trick I have added to my arsenal of strategies to enjoy my life is to put little notes up in my most usual places that remind me to concentrate on the here and now so that I can be in the present. This helps me to revel in the now of my running, writing, or teaching. I could be going to the office or lecturing to the class and I would see the note, FOCUS, and that would remind me to take a second to see all the beauty around me. I would then stop and look at the students in my room and realize how...

Taking a little time each day to meditate, think about yourself, say a positive saying, and in general let your mind relax is an important thing to do to get yourself back on track if you have taken a turn that has led you down the wrong road. We all get off track when steering toward our goals. We get side tracked by our friends, family, and even ourselves. This happens naturally in life because there are so many things going on. Some of those things we agree with and some we don’t but when we set goals for our lives we can get side tracked by life with its myriad of complications. An accident, an injury, loss of patience, inability to focus intently enough, and a host of different events can stop us from completing our tasks that move us forward toward our goals. To get back into the groove all you have to do is let go. It appears to be a lot harder than it looks but letting go just takes practice like anything else. When the world stomps on you and you are late for work take a mi...

Loss is an inevitable part of life. We lose games, we lose our keys, we lose our mind, and we lose a variety of other things as we participate in this thing we call life. Eventually we will lose our lives as well. Loss is not something to be afraid of or angry about it is the event that naturally comes with everything we do. Obviously we want to win but because our universe is balanced we can't win all the time. Loss comes with winning. It is the yin to the yang. Every win you experience there is a commensurate loss. There is no getting around that fact. The caveat is that the losses you experience don't always equal the wins you experience in intensity and duration and the losses don't always come in the same form as the wins but for most of us they even out. What you need to know is that you can minimize the sensations that surround your losses because you create your own world. An anecdotal example is that I would lose consistently when it comes to my car. When I was yo...

Weather We have all kinds of weather in our world. Rain, hard rain, torrential rain, and bucket pours. We have dry, parching dry, blistering dry, and 7 years dry. We have snow, blustery snow, snow storms, and stay indoors for days snow. No matter what kind of weather you have where you are, and it varies radically, you have to adapt to the conditions. All animals adapt humans can to. We can adapt to any situation, any problem, any challenge, and any adversity. As humans in a dynamic world we have to figure out a way to live peacefully in it no matter what the problem.When a hailstorm comes and dings up our car we figure out a way to go on with our driving and our lives. We may not be happy for awhile but we will have a story to tell to everyone about our experiences. We are amazing creatures in a blessed world. We are surrounded by so many different types of weather that give us an opportunity to grow and be better..

Dedicate 5 Minutes It took 5 minutes to write this blog. If you dedicate 5 minutes to your immediate goal each day you will see a dramatic improvement in the journey you are experiencing toward that goal. In the morning or night set aside a time to visualize your goal. Do it daily and do it for 5 minutes. Be specific in your visualization and be consistent in your practice and before long you will see subtle hints that you are on your way to accomplishment. For example if you want to enjoy your workplace a little more take 5 minutes and visualize yourself smiling where you work. 5 minutes doesn't seem like very long but when you are in the meditative or Alpha state it can seem like a long time and you will want to give up. Don't give up. 5 minutes a day. Surely you can give that much for your peace of mind and happiness.

What is perfection. Certainly what is perfect for me would not be perfect for you or would it? Perfection is a judgment, feeling, opinion, or idea. We want things to be perfect that can't possibly be that way unless we change our perspective and say that it is. So perfection is our ability to take something that is not perfect and say that it is. Many times in my life things have happened to me that were wonderful, but  I recollected the event as not perfect, because there were always aspects of the event that didn't go as I had planned. Well, that is the way most everyone views their lives and events that happen to them. Perfection is a judgment that will never be or can always be. It is a state of mind that flows continually as we experience our day. My bike ride where I had to brake suddenly because a car almost got in my way, when I barely averted an accident because of a big rock in the street, and when my wheel slipped into a groove and I almost tipped over going 18 MP...

Goal Seeking Organisms All living organisms are goal seeking. Most, including us humans, seek survival, reproduction, and quality of life as our goals. Humans are intellectually evolved enough to seek more than just the basic needs as goals. We seek more. We seek to know everything we can. We seek to understand the unknown. We seek to attain power and wealth way beyond our need for survival. We seek to question the unanswerable. We seek to find a deep understanding of all that is. We seek a lot of things. As we travel through our time on Earth we gain lots of knowledge, experience many experiences, and add value to the world in which we live. This is what I believe we are all destined for. Our god, our eternal consciousness, our I am, our Yahweh, or our karma wants us to aspire to add value to this world. This can be done in a myriad of ways. As a matter of fact we add value in as many different ways as there are humans on the Earth. Adding value to our ecosystem, religious communit...

Life is Hard There are myriad of things that can challenge you, obstruct your progress, or keep you from accomplishing your goals. That is because life is hard. No animal running through the forest, no insect flying through the sky, or any human would tell you that life was easy. We are constantly battling illness, running for our life, and are stressed as we face all the roadblocks life puts in our way. Even though this is true every human also has the capacity to make every dream come true. We are all built with the mechanisms that give us the ability to live long and prosper. Animals run as fast as they can to keep from being eaten and that is the least we can do. Well, since we are on the top of the food chain no other creature eats us so we can rest assured that won't happen. However, we are challenged with a plethora of other worries. Will we have enough money for our bills, will I ever get over that illness, or how do I make my friend understand their mistake. How do I ge...

Happiness is a Choice In our careers, and mine is education, you can choose a lot of different things in the way you approach your job. You can choose the career path you follow, you can choose the type of education you want, and you can choose the way you react to environmental circumstances. There are a myriad of other choices we have each day. One of those choices is how you react to the things that happen to you as you go through your daily routine. I became frustrated one morning because I was having problems with my computer and how it was navigating the program I installed. I didn't understand how it was working and it was not working the way that I thought it should. I became frustrated and got angry at it. It was not doing anything it wasn't supposed to be doing, however, it wasn't doing what I perceived it should be doing. I let the environment choose my happiness. You don't have to do that. A friend of mine was complaining about how he could not trust the...